In a spectacle that promises to be as holy as it is extravagant, Pope Leo XIV is set to officially be inaugurated this Sunday in Vatican City. The event, titled “Holy Hats, Heavenly Music, and a Papal Power-Up Like No Other,” is expected to draw tens of thousands of worshippers, sightseers, and the occasional bemused tourist who wandered in mistakenly thinking it was a pop concert. The Vatican has spared no expense in preparing for this momentous occasion. Reports indicate that the official papal hat—traditionally known as the tiara—will be lined with 24-karat gold and embellished with diamonds sourced from the ancient catacombs of Rome, which, Brian from Vatican Public Relations assured us, they definitely didn’t acquire through any questionable means. “What’s a little sparkle in the name of the Lord?” he chuckled, adjusting his own rather mundane baseball cap. The inauguration ceremony promises a lineup of heavenly music that would make even the angels reconsider their day jobs. The Vatican’s choir, now featuring some of the most sought-after vocalists from the Italian opera scene, is rumored to be preparing a rendition of “Ave Maria” that includes spontaneous jazz breaks and choreographed dance sequences. Leo XIV himself has reportedly insisted that they keep it lively, stating, “If we’re going to save souls, we might as well make them groove while doing it!” In a bold move that has sparked both excitement and confusion, Pope Leo XIV will also unveil a new papal communication initiative dubbed “Pope to the People.” This initiative will utilize social media influencers and TikTok stars to spread the word of God, with hashtags ranging from #HeavenlyVibes to #PapalPower. Sources say the Pope has been practicing his TikTok dance moves in private, preparing to go viral. However, not everything is divine in the lead-up to the inauguration. Some traditionalists have voiced their concerns about the modern approach, arguing that the Papacy should stick to its centuries-old customs, which primarily involve speaking in Latin and wearing elaborate robes while looking serious. One anonymous cleric was overheard grumbling, “What’s next? Electric guitars in the Sistine Chapel?” As the countdown begins for the inauguration, the city of Rome has been abuzz with preparations: vendors are stocking up on commemorative t-shirts featuring Pope Leo XIV wearing sunglasses, and local cafes are offering “Papal Pastas”—dishes named after the Pontiff, including the much-talked-about “Holy Cannelloni.” Despite the controversies, enthusiasm is palpable, with hopeful attendees eagerly anticipating the event from nearby piazzas. “Whether it’s about God or just a really epic party, count me in!” exclaimed one excited fan, clutching a “Pope Leo XIV Fan Club” banner. As the holy day approaches, the world watches with bated breath to see what this new Pope brings to the Vatican. If nothing else, it seems like Pope Leo XIV is destined to remind us all that even the Church might just need a bit of a pop culture shakeup to keep up with modern times. So, grab your best outfit, prepare to witness miracles, and don’t forget to bring your snacks—after all, even God encourages post-ceremony brunch!